First Days of School

Today started another chapter in my life! It was an exciting day...it was a day of many nerves. In my short time of teaching, I have had the opportunity to have 3 "first days" of school, and I can safely say that today was the most anxious day. I have been forced to embrace some very new and wonderful situations. I am teaching in a district of 51,000 students. I teach in a school with 2200 students. The freshmen class that welcomed into the doors at Burke High School has roughly 600 students. Prior to today, I spent TWO weeks in New Teacher meetings, district wide meetings, and building specific meetings. I was introduced to a new assessment approach to education. I was engulfed with new expectations from many different administrative facets. I learned more about standards based grading, trend scoring, and literacy strategy. I am working in a building that has high expectations for their staff and students. Like I said...a bit overwhelming!

Not only am I overwhelmed, but I am so excited. I am thrilled for the many wonderful opportunities that are on the horizons for the Burke choral department and myself. Today I had the opportunity to meet my Freshmen students, the first group that I will have the opportunity to see through their high school career. I have the opportunity to explore many resources that Omaha has to offer. I have met all of the high school directors in the OPS district, and am so excited to foster relationships with them and grow along side them. I'm excited at the numerous opportunities I will have to drink of the knowledge of the many veteran teachers in the metro area.

I struggled with the thought of putting down some goals that I have set for myself and the Burke choral department...so I will wait for another time. I do feel comfortable saying that my hope is that I can continue to foster an appreciation and love of music that Mr. Lempke did before me. My hope is that the students of the Burke choral department leave the classroom with their music cup full....yet yearning for more. I hope to create life long creators and consumers of music.

As always, my blog post is very random and sporadic. To be completely honest, I didn't even THINK about blogging today when I got home. All I could think of was how sore my legs were from standing all day on tile floors and wondering how many days I'll make it before losing my voice. I couldn't help stressing out about the fact that I have no idea what I am doing TOMORROW, when all of the students are at school. I was so exhausted that while I was sitting and working before supper...I fell asleep. After supper and a little working, I decided to go on a walk. And I did what all choral educators do when they walk, I listened to choral music. It was completely rejuvenating and refreshing. I've posted a video of a song that we will be performing for our first concert, and it is a well known song by Morten Lauridsen.  Enjoy and here is to a WONDERFUL school year of teaching wonderful children and making beautiful music!

Peace amongst Angst

It has simply been one of those weeks. It seems like those around us are experiencing uncertainty and strife. This week has definitely not been a walk in the park for Danielle and myself either. It is amazing how the stresses of life quickly compile and then seem to dump on you. Yesterday was one of those days. It was a day where it seemed like God was REALLY testing me. 


It is clear in the bible that our God is a loving God, a God that will never push you past your limits. It is your reaction to these struggles that truly define your trust in God. Your reactions define your faith in God. I want to strive to be a man of God who is steadfast in my walk with Christ, putting full trust in him regardless of what my emotions are. So where do I go to find comfort in Christ? Where do I go to remind myself of his sovereign control over everything? For me, there are two places that bring me back to the amazing truth of God's love and control.


The first is obvious, and should be the first place all should turn to...that is the bible. If we all spent our energy in solving problems in the bible, things would work out to God's intent. For me, the bible provides comfort and perspective. When I feel stressed and that life is not going my way, I simply turn to the book of Job. What a true character Job had...and true faith. God put him through EVERYTHING, yet Job remained faithful to God. I encourage you to turn to the bible for healing, comfort, and guidance.


The second place I turn to is music. It is amazing the emotional & spiritual connection one can have through music. Through consuming music. Through creating music. Martin Luther said that 

“Next to the Word of God, music deserves the highest praise. The gift of language combined with the gift of song was given to man that he should proclaim the Word of God through Music.”

Whether you feel you have a gift or talent in music, I truly believe that music moves all. Now some may still be looking for the music that moves them, and others have found it and have latched on. To me it is choral music. For some reason, I can throw on a piece of music and just have an emotional outpouring, especially when I am having a day where doubt, frustration, or confusion engulf my thoughts. Today would be one of those days! It is the beauty of choral music. It is the text. It is the humanity that is apparent. Choral music reminds me that live is not meant to be lived alone. God put others in our lives to weave into our being. Choral music is the same. Only through the work of the complete ensemble can you find comfort, completion, and a sense of purpose. God put others in your life to help provide that same sense. 

I believe that God has put obstacles in my life to help me realize the blessings I have. I have a beautiful wife that is grounded in a strong faith in Christ! What a blessing!!! My family loves me and would be here for me in a heartbeat. I have been surrounded by family my whole life, and I can't even fathom NOT having a loving family to lean on. God has blessed me with MANY amazing friends. Godly friends who I can trust will lead me in the right direction through biblical advice. Friends who sacrifice for us. Friends who are willing to cry alongside us and for us. God wants me to remember the blessing of PEOPLE! People are what life is about. Relationships are what life is about. Everything else is secondary to this truth. And, sometimes relationships are hard. Sometimes you bless others, and sometimes others bless you. Sometimes you have to put yourself through discomfort to be there for others. My prayer is that we continue to live lives focused on people and God's truth. If you are reading this, then you are one of those people in my life and I thank you. I know that is not personal, and my goal is to have more intention in my relationships, but thank you! 

So I just scrolled up to read my title....and I have it! Through trusting in God and leaning on the people in my life, I can have peace amongst angst!

Nebraska Choral Directors Association

This summer has been...well....busy. As most of you know, Danielle and I finished our last summer of classes at UNL, and will be graduating this August with our Masters Degrees. What I love most about the summer is the opportunities to grow as a professional, and the past few years I have had the pleasure of finishing my 5 weeks of classes and going straight from that to the NCDA summer conference.

As a choral director in Nebraska, I feel it is imperative to be a member and active participant of the NCDA organization and all of the wonderful opportunities they provide. I thought about explaining everything NCDA does, but decided rather to focus on the summer conference that we hold every year on the wonderful Doane campus. I can't even begin to express the impact that the NCDA summer conference has had on my career and personal life. When I began teaching 6 years ago, I was naive. I was not connected with the state of music education and I was riding on the excitement of my high school experiences and college life. I quickly realized, after stepping into my first classroom, that these experiences would not sustain me forever. I survived my first year simply because I was still excited and ready to light the world on fire with music. I was newly married, and the energy from all of these first experiences pushed me on.

Then stress hit. I didn't realize that administrators weren't always going to make decisions for the benefit of your students and your program. I was taken aback when I realized that not all of my students were going to like me, and that in turn created animosity between parents and myself. The time commitments of a K-12 Vocal Music position was starting to wear on me, and it didn't help that I was driving 30 minutes to work everyday(which in retrospect is NOT that big of a deal).

I was looking for something to get me involved, somewhere to network, and an organization that was bursting with energy. I found that in NCDA! The first summer I attended NCDA, I vividly remember that I was scared, and intimidated by all of the "whos whos"of vocal music. I wanted to talk to them, but didn't know how. I would just sit and watch them, jealous of how energetic they were and impressed with how connected they were. Writing the check for my first summer conference was hard, as most teachers understand that money is not exactly flowing into the bank accounts.

But praise God that I did write that check, and will continue to write it! In my short 4-5 years of attending the summer conference, I have grown more than I could have imagined. I have met WONDERFUL colleagues that I know have the privilege of calling my friends. I have been given opportunities...opportunities to serve the organization and it's members.

So why do I share this? I share it because I fear that SOME people are missing this opportunity. Some don't feel that NCDA is for them. Some are afraid to write that check. I know there is a young teacher who is intimidated by the veterans, yet so eagerly wants to learn from them. I share this to encourage. I encourage active members to continue to promote this organization. I encourage new members to take a chance. I encourage you to strive to always make a difference. Jon (Pete) Peterson talked a bit about leaving a legacy at this past conference. I share these thoughts to encourage you to continually work towards YOUR legacy, whatever that may be.

If you have ANY questions about NCDA and involvement, please do not hesitate to contact me. Visit the website. Take the chance to introduce yourself to your NCDA district representative. If you have a question about literature or standards, email an R&S chair for the specific area. NCDA is nothing but an amazing organization that strives to serve the state of Nebraska through the promotion of fine choral arts. Get involved!

Masters Degree

It is official....kind of! Four years ago I decided to begin my Masters Degree in Music Education, and it has been one of the best choices I have made for my career. More on that aspect in a later post...

At the end of the program, each student participates in a Comprehensive Exam. Luckily, I didn't have to take a paper test. Rather, I had the opportunity to do a 90 minute Oral Exam along with a 90 minute score study. I will quickly talk through this process so you all know what kind of a week I had. This past Thursday was the day of my comps...and after completion I felt a tid-bit better!

For comps, you start with a score study. After picking up my score from the secretary, I was escorted to a practice room where I was left with all the allowed resources...a piano and pencil! I spent the next 90 minutes analyzing the score, both the macro-analysis (form) and the micro-analysis (harmonic structures). Along with analysis, I was expected to come up with an idea of what time period this piece was composed. Did I mention that the title AND composer/arranger was not provided. A small portion of my oral comps would also revolve around my "findings" on the score study. I was lucky to have a small direction of study provided for my study, which means my committee provided me with some questions to kind of get the ball rolling on the study. To my surprise, the 90 minutes flew by and before I knew it the next student was knocking at the door to replace me and scoot me on to the oral comps.

So I made the trek down the stairs to room 109, where my committee was waiting for me. Before I go on, I do have to say that the comps weren't near as bad as I thought they would be...I think! Anyway, at the end of week 1 all students taking their comps were provided with "Directions of Study", which are essentially study guides of what we should look over from the past 4,5,6, etc. years we have been in the Masters Program. I spent the past 3 weeks studying, stressing, studying, and stressing over these directions of studies. Luckily I had a couple other colleagues taking the comps, and we spent numerous hours in the library talking over the information.

So...back to the oral comps. The four of us spent the next 90 minutes having "scholarly conversation" over the materials. I'm not going to lie, there were moments in the comps where I flat out had to tell my committee that I didn't know the information. There were other times where I would provide them an unsure answer, only to have silence as a response. THOSE were the moments that made the comps difficult. But overall, the committee did a great job of making me feel at ease and guiding me along the way. After about 80 minutes of comps, it became apparent that they had heard as much as they needed and that we were coming to a conclusion. The next part of the comps was the most nerve-racking. The committee asks you to step out of the room so they can discuss what they feel the next step should be. The options are as follows 1) pass with no need to continue with study, 2) partial pass, but you are required to review some information and come back the following week to finish up, or 3) not pass and have to return the fall to make up any areas that the committee feels you need help in.  Well needless to say, that was the longest wait of the day. After what seemed like an eternity,  the chair of my committee (Dr. Fuelberth) came out, gave me a hug, and congratulated me. Dr. Nierman and Dr. Woody proceeded to congratulate me as well!

THEN I relaxed...for the most part. You see, I was one of 9 students who took their comps this summer, and although I didn't know them all that well...I was nervous for them. I wanted them to succeed. For some reason I hung some of my success on how our group did. So I didn't get to relax completely, because 4 other colleagues still needed to complete their comps. Long story short, everybody who took their comps during the summer of 2012 passed...and I can safely say we were all nervous before hand and relieved afterwards.

As I said in the beginning of this post, deciding to obtain a Masters Degree was one of the best decisions I have made for my career, and I am extremely proud that I finished it. Not saying I had doubts...I'm just proud that I did! I am nervous to see what my life consists of next summer without classes. I already have had thoughts about what my next level of schooling will be...another Masters, a Doctorate, or just classes to stay involved. I would be more than happy to have suggestions or ideas from my most faithful followers :)

Where words fail...

...music speaks - Hans Christian Andersen

It is 11:30 on a Sunday night and I have  spent an hour and a half reading through my Teaching Music Through Performance in Choir book. Yea, sounds dorky. Tomorrow I begin week 2 of my summer classes, and during week 4 I will be taking my comps. Part of my comps include a 90 minute score study, followed by a 90 minute oral exam. To prepare for my score study, I decided to listen through the examples provided in the TMTP books and read descriptions of the music. This forces me to listen and not just hear. It forces me to be a bit more active and less passive.

One goal I have kind of adopted is to perform as many of the songs in this book series as possible. This forces me to stretch and broaden my scope, because often times I will look at a song and it won't be a song that Helzer will do. Having the series as a resource will greatly help me to find a connection to the pieces. Nonetheless, I was listening through and studying, and a special song crossed my playlist. This is a song that I encountered as a singer in my choir at Grand Island Northwest, and again a song I had the pleasure to conduct with my Ogallala Concert Choir. It is simply amazing how much music can move a person. Although this piece is sung in French, it still cuts deep to my heart. There are experiences that will always be tied to this song. It use to be a song that took me back to high school and all of the great memories, and it now takes me back to Ogallala and the wonderful kids I had the pleasure to work with. For those of you who sing, you understand. For those of you who don't, I strongly encourage you to find a choir to sing in. Be it at church, a community choir, or somewhere else. Find an opportunity to make music and create community with a group of like-minded people. That being said, please take a break and enjoy!

Summer Plans

So today Danielle and I had the pleasure to travel 5 hours down interstate 80 to arrive in our new hometown...Omaha! It has been quite the journey leading up to our move, and there are mixed emotions with the new challenges and experiences that are soon to come our way.

So you may all be wondering WHY we are leaving Ogallala so soon. No, it is not because we are anxious to get out of there. It is quite the opposite, as it was very tough to leave today.  The reason we have moved up so quickly is because we are both finishing our Masters degrees this summer, and session starts on Monday, June 4th. We couldn't wait and move until this weekend because I have an NCDA Board Meeting on Saturday in Kearney. So here is what my summer looks like (and for those of you who think teachers get summers off, think again)

6/2/12: NCDA Board Meeting
6/4-7/6: Summer classes at UNL
7/7: NMEA Young Leadership Workshop at Doane College
7/8-7/11: NCDA Summer Conference
8/7-8/9: New Teacher Institute at OPS
8/10 & 8/13: New Teacher Workshops at OPS
8/14-8/17: Teacher Inservice
8/20: Students Begin School

So according to my schedule, I have a 3 1/2 week window of opportunity to enjoy my summer, hopefully be moving into a house, and quickly preparing for a new school year in a new building. Although it seems like my summer is jam packed, I am excited. All I know is that next summer, I am forcing myself to take the summer "off" and relax, spend time with my wife and NOT worry about summer classes!

It's been a great run

As most of you know, Danielle and I will be moving to the Eastern part of the state, as we have both accepted jobs in the Omaha area. Danielle will be teaching 11th & 12th grade English at Gretna High School and I will be teaching vocal music at Omaha Burke. That being said, I thought I would reflect a bit on my time in Ogallala. As a disclaimer, the rest of this post will jump around...so be prepared!

Today I spent my last day as a "staff member" of Ogallala, and turned in my keys and said goodbye. It was bittersweet. Actually, today was really easy. It was yesterday that kind of hit me. My last period of the day yesterday was my concert choir, which generally is the students I have spent the most amount of time with in my 4 year tenure at OPSD. The period was quite hectic, as kids were in and out, making trips to their lockers, the guidance counselor, and other random places to get their check out sheets signed. As "chaos" ensued around me, I just sat back and watched. It was surreal looking at these students and thinking back on the great memories. After the stress of moving and summer school wears off, I will take some time to sit back and reflect even more on my last 4 years of education.

Just off the top of my head, I can say that I have grown immensely as an educator while being here in Ogallala. I have made my share of colossal mistakes and have had many opportunities to experience success. I don't think a lot of people truly understand what it means to teach, how it feels to teach. I am constantly second guessing and looking back on decisions I make. What I have REALLY come to realize in my time in Ogallala is that even though I make a decision for what I feel is the best for the students, not everybody else will agree with that. I am slowly coming to the realization that people are going to be upset with me. People are not always going to like what I am doing or how I handle a situation. Sometimes that is just life. What is important is that I constantly reflect on the outcome and how I handled the situation. I can also say that the past 4 years have helped me to realize how much I truly love working with youth. Their energy and personalities are so contagious and they teach me so much every day.

I also learned that sometimes traditions are good, and sometimes they are not so good. I have begun some "traditions" with the OHS Choir department that I am excited to see continue. I also know that if it doesn't continue, then the director had a good reason to discontinue them. And if his reasoning is not legit...oh well. I say that because I know exactly what it is like to have to make decisions that others may not agree with. One tradition that I started...and ended...was the signing of the wall. One day I just decided it would be cool to let the students sign the wall of my office. Below are some pictures of my wall, and it is amazing how a simple signature and message really brings out each individual personality. These small things are what really make a difference to me! I hope you enjoy reading the messages (if it is big enough) and for those students who read this, thank you for giving a piece of you to me the past 4 years...I truly appreciate it!

OMS Choir Concert

So it is over. Tonight was my last time that I will get to share the stage with the youth of Ogallala. After 4 wonderful years at Ogallala, tonight I conducted the OMS choirs for the last time. To be honest, I'm not sure what I'm going to write. I'm not sure what the purpose of this post is, but I feel that after tonight I owed it to my students to post something.

First off, I need to say that I LOVE working with middle schoolers...most of the time. When one goes through college for education, very little time and effort is spent on middle school education. It is kind of that area that everybody avoids. "Nobody" understands middle school kids. They are unpredictable, stinky, emotionally unstable...They are also forgiving, hard working and loyal.

For the last concert, I didn't expect anything from the middle school classes. Instead, they gave me multiple gifts. To better understand the gifts, I need to explain one of them. The giant ball is called a hoberman sphere, and I use it to teach dynamics. When we use it in class, the kids love it. I always whine that I wanted to buy the big 5 ft ball, but I was too cheap. Well tonight the show choir surprised me with an upgraded, large hoberman sphere (pictured below)

 

The second gift was from one of my 7th grade students. Man does this kid have character. Every day, Timmy comes to my class and tells me that he likes my shirt. It doesn't matter WHAT I'm wearing, it is just his thing. So of course, of anything that Timmy could give me, it would be a shirt. This shirt is serves two purposes, because the students also enjoy the fact that I have no hair. Every day they find some kind of joke that includes baldness. Now some adults would argue that this is disrespectful, but I tell myself that their joking is a sign of approval, a sign of affection. That being said, Timmy used his wit to create the following t-shirt:

The last gift I can't share today, but hope to upload later. After the 8th grade choir was finished tonight, I began to call the rest of the groups up for our mass choir song. As I was talking, I was politely interrupted by some show choir members, who told me they had a gift. I was expecting to receive something like the above items, but this was different. They then proceeded to ask me to go down into the house and take a sit. As I went to take a seat, they all gathered around the piano and assumed a nice posed position. Once I sat, Mrs. Albee began playing and the show choir sang "For Good" from Wicked. I had never taught them this song. I had no idea that this was going to happen. These 28 middle school kids went above and beyond and learned this song to "gift" to me at this concert. They met at 7 in the morning on days we didn't have show choir. At times they would meet at a church, and other times they would meet at school. I felt SO appreciated when they sang this song. I didn't plan on becoming emotional at the concert, but this sign of respect and admiration pushed me over the edge. I really didn't know what kind of a difference I made to these kids, but the looks on their faces, the tears in their eyes said differently.

I could go on forever about how this single act has touched my life in a way I can't explain. It goes to show that it is important to stick it out. That even if you feel like you aren't making a difference, there is somebody who notices. Thank you to my students for showing their love and respect they have for me. Thank you to my MS kids for teaching me that it is okay to be yourself and show that you love music. Thank you to the parents for continually supporting their children and their love for singing. I can't wait to hear about all of the great things that are going to come from these students in the years to come!

Bigger & Better...

Please...don't jump to conclusions until after you read the blog. This week God answered a prayer that many of our close friends and families were praying, and that is that a job would open up for me. On Friday, May 4th I had the opportunity to go to Omaha and interview for a vocal music position at Omaha Burke. Long story short, I received a phone call on Thursday from Human Resources and was asked if I was interested in being a Burke Bulldog. Of course I was overwhelmed with excitement and happily accepted the position.

After my adrenaline decreased, I took some time to email some of my colleagues and let them know of the change. One colleague emailed me back and said congratulations, and that I was off to bigger and better things. That phrase got me thinking..."bigger and better"...

I want to make sure people understand that bigger does NOT equal better! That has NEVER been my mindset. What opportunities I will gain from living in a large city/teaching in a small district will be offset by the things I will lose by NOT living in a small community.  I believe better can be achieved regardless of size. I have seen and experienced greatness in communities of 650 and I have read stories of disappointment from communities of 500,000.

I guess my point is not to get caught up in the size or population of a location. Don't believe that this population has a direct relationship with the success. Measure success in growth! I believe that we all have opportunity to grow. I always tell my students that a stagnant lake will quickly start to smell like "poo" because it is not moving. I also believe strongly that you are either moving forward or backwards, and rarely do we simply maintain and not move. As my wife and I move out to Eastern Nebraska to start the next phase of our life, we will take many great lessons and memories with us that we have received from the wonderful community of Ogallala.

Facing Your Addictions

I have a confession to make....I am an addict. I think that all people have addictions, some more harmful than others. For many who know me, you know what some of my "addictions" or "weaknesses" are.  The people who TRULY understand my weaknesses include my wife and the employees of Lou Kraus Music. I am addicted to drums!

There, I said it! Happy now? Going through college, I was primarily a vocal focused music educator, and played in marching band for one semester. After I began teaching, I really found that I had a love for percussion instruments. Below are some pictures of drums that I have purchased for myself and/or for the school district at which I work. As a choral director, I think it is important that I find resources that help to enhance the performance of a piece, and often times that can be done with percussion.

Toca TCAJ-BW Cajon Drum

Toca Mechanically Tuned Djembe 12"

I was first introduced to the cajon when Curtis Isaacson conducted the UNK Festival Choir. I was just amazed at what kind of sounds he could get out of a simple box. On the inside of the box are snares that can be turned on and off. It is very easy to emulate the sound of a trap set with this wonderful instrument, without all of the equipment of a trap set! The other great things about a cajon is that you can get anything from a cheap beginner model to an expensive professional model, to whatever fits your needs.

Second is the Djembe, of which I probably enjoy playing on the most. I am by no means amazing, but I just enjoy the opportunity to make music with my students. The Djembe can be used on a variety of styles, but most frequently appears in African pieces.

These are the only two instruments that I own, but I KNOW that as I continue to teach I will continue to grow my "arsenal" of instruments. My wife may not be a complete fan of this addiction, but I suppose it is better than crack cocaine ;)

So the lesson to learn is that we all have addictions, we just have to decide how we want those to factor into our lives. Do we want our addictions to rule us and control us, or do we use our addictions to enhance the enjoyment of our lives in a positive matter?

I Am a Writer

Today I had the opportunity to drive 8 OHS students to Kearney to attend a Writing Festival that my wife organized through the Nebraska Writing Project.  After the festival was over, I was completely impressed.

The whole goal of the festival was to embrace and encourage students to write. They started the festival with a writing marathon, where the participants would break up into groups and go write individually. After writing a bit, the groups each met back up and shared some writing. After the marathon, the students attended a handful of different workshops, ranging from blogging to anatomy writing. At the very end of the festival all of the participants gathered back together for an "open mic" opportunity, where they could share writings from the day or previous materials they may have on hand.

I wasn't around for most of the festival, but I did get to sit in on the read around. This was great. It was amazing to see high school students share. These students shared a wide range of writings, from poetry to fictional stories. It was great to see these high school students vulnerable around others that they didn't even know. It was really amazing hearing students from OHS read some of their materials, and I even had the opportunity to hear some writing from Ava Leininger (she was a student who moved to Aurora this year). What really topped it off was that one of my current students wrote a piece about me. If I get a chance to get a copy of it and I get her permission, I will post the piece on here.

What Kelly wrote was heartfelt and hit right to my core. It helped to provide closure from the concert last night, and it was extremely genuine. I hope that Kelly will share this with me simply so I can keep it, and pull it out during those ROUGH teaching days!

So why the title of the blog?  Because regardless of my abilities and frequency, I came to the acceptance today that I Am a Writer. The leaders today really drove home the fact that to be a writer, you simply have to state that you are a writer. What I say may not be earth shattering or world moving, but it is my ideas, thoughts, ramblings...and that is why I can safely say...I AM A WRITER!

Emotional outpouring: HS Choir

There is SOOOO much going on in my head right now that I am not sure how this blog is going to come out, but now is the best time to do it!

Well it is 10:30 on a Friday night, and I just got home from our high school choir concert. Normally, this would be the time I would change, clean up, veg out with my wife. BUT, this time is different. This time, I came home after a wonderful concert, knowing I will NEVER have the opportunity to conduct these students again.

After 4 short years, it is amazing how much of an impact students can have in your life. Tonight helped me to realize that. It was emotional. Tonight was tough. There were moments where I felt like a father proud of their child for accomplishing the most amazing of feats. There were also times where I would look right into my the eyes of my students, and simply wonder what else I could have done for them. When the mass choir was singing, I had to fight every ounce not to break down and cry like a little baby. They weren't going to be tears of sadness, or tears of joy...I think they were tears of confusion. Tonight is one of those nights I go home and just sit, with an empty feeling in my gut...not sure what I'm suppose to put there.

Tonight, I came to understand that what I do, and what few people misunderstand, is a true blessing. I GET TO get up every day and work with kids. I GET TO sponsor dances, organize fundraisers, and attend countless student activities. I GET TO grow and learn every day, when others think that I am suppose to be growing and teaching youth. I spent two entire songs tonight at the concert just performing. I was conducting and the choir was singing. After the second song, I came back to reality and quickly remembered there was an audience. It was surreal, and I had never had that experience before. Think about it...I didn't WORRY about the audience. I didn't WORRY about the sound. I connected with my ensemble and the literature and we were doing one of the most natural things known to man...we were making music. We were sharing a story. We were healing somebody. We were lifting somebody's spirit.

Tonight I realized how much some students rely on me. I also realized how much kids AREN'T taught that they are capable, that they are worth something. On many occasions I have had kids tell me that things are going to fall apart next year, and I just remind them that THEY make the choir. Others will say that things will be different next year. Well duh, things are different each year!


Tonight I realized that I can make a difference, and each of my students can as well. Right before concert choir sang, I reminded the of one truth. I simply said, "If we are going to do this, why not be great." It sounds so simple, yet we often times don't think of life that way. 

Well, after the night was over, I can safely say that they WERE great. Did we sing our best...I don't know. Did everybody appreciate the music choice...I don't know. What I do know is that when those students were on stage, they were themselves. They were vulnerable and honest. I could SEE the truth of how they felt...I could FEEL it in their performance. Music is an amazing tool and gift that too few people TRULY understand.  The OHS Choirs were GREAT tonight because they figured that since they were already there they might as well be. I am SOOO proud of what those kids do that I can't even put it into words. I choke up simply thinking about it.  Strike that, I start to weep thinking about how amazing they are. My prayer is that the students of OHS find a love of singing in the art, not in their teacher! My prayer is that I have equipped them to succeed without me. It is okay to hold on to memories, but it is important to keep focus on what is important...We end each of our concerts the same way, by singing "The Lord Bless You." My prayer is that this tradition can continue, so that the identity of OHS Choirs can continue to grow.  So to my students, I simply want to say...

"Let music never die in me; forever let my spirit sing! Wherever emptiness is found let there be joy and glorious sound. Let music never die in me; forever let my spirit sing! Let all our voices join as one to praise the giver of the sun! Awake, awake! Let music live!"

Ordinary Extraordinaire

There are those people in your life who just seem to never slow down. They are passionate about everything they involve themselves with and just watching them can be tiring. I know this blog is long over due, but today I was reminded that I haven't done a great job of recognizing these people who I have the pleasure of being surrounded by.

As most of you know, I am married to one of those people. Danielle is a natural go getter. I only think she was built with two speeds...fast and faster. Frankly, it is sickening at the amount she does and what she can fit into a 24 hour day. Now this is coming from somebody who prefers to workout at the gym so he can watch Netflix. So as Danielle and I prepare for the next stage of our lives by moving to Omaha, I wanted to reflect on what imprint Danielle has left on me the past few years, and I'm sure on many more in her path. Since I am NOT a writing expert, I will just list the things I know Danielle has accomplished. Since moving to Ogallala, Danielle has...

1) graduated from UNK with her Bachelor's degree
2) become SUPER involved with the NeWP, to the point where she has already been serving on the advisory board.
3) successfully organized a writing festival through NeWP, with two sites (Elkhorn & Kearney)
4) presented at NUMEROUS state and national conferences through the NeWP and NETA
5) completed here coursework and wrote her thesis for her Masters degree, which she will acquire this summer.
6) wrote a curriculum at OHS that focuses on Social Action, and has grown a WONDERFUL unit where the students of OHS go out and MAKE A DIFFERENCE in their community.
7) been selected to receive an award through the NeWP, where she will be recognized at state wide and national based conferences. Being the bad husband I am, I don't even know what the award is called.
8) fulfilled her life-long dream of being in a bluegrass band, the Skunkrunners. Okay, I'm not sure if this is a dream but Danielle has grown to LOVE bluegrass!
9) ran 3 successful half marathons and will be running the FULL marathon in Lincoln on May 5th.
10) been an assistant cross country coach for two years
11) was published in the book "What Teaching Means"
10) continually put her husband before her by supporting all of his concerts and out of school activities.

I think that forcing myself to sit down and really reflect on what has happened the past 4 years has exponentially increased my understanding of what Danielle has been doing.  What I love MOST about my wife is that through EVERYTHING she does, she wants to put all of her focus on here relationship with Christ. She is such an inspirational woman that I have been blessed to be married to. I know that I am often times forgetful and selfish, and this is just a small token to show how much I truly realize Danielle does.

Looking back on the past four years, it is amazing to see what Danielle has accomplished and been involved in. That being said, Omaha better watch out! I praise God for Danielle's energy in the classroom, in our marriage, and in our friendships with others.

Making a Difference

As I sit here and wind down before going to bed, it suddenly dawns on me that I have 21 more days as the director of choirs at Ogallala Public Schools. For the seniors, we only have 11 days left before we part ways. The past few weeks I have really been reflecting on our time that we have spent in Ogallala. It seems like a short 4 years ago we were packing up our few items in Kearney and moving out West, ready to take on "rural" Nebraska. Now I lay here, watching the days quickly pass before our time here dwindles.

As most of you know, I take a lot of pride and put a lot of stock into my job. I really don't know why that is. I would be the first to admit that musically, I am nothing but average. Educationally, I am not outstanding and creative in what I do. I'm not saying I am a lousy teacher, but my classroom is not that unique and earth shattering. Regardless, I take pride in what I do and want to make a difference in my job. I'm not at all like my wife in the fact that she attacks "big" issues, like social action and the entire SAT program. It seems like my one and only focus is my students.

I am concerned with whether I have taught them what is TRULY important. Yes, it is important for them to be able to sing properly, to understanding correct vowel modification, how to adjust the tuning of a difficult interval, what a picardy third is, etc. Have they left my room understanding the importance of integrity. Do they understand that popularity isn't important. Have I taught them that your actions are a clear indication of who you truly are. I lay here in bed running questions upon questions that I am afraid I haven't clearly educated my students on. I lay here in frustration at the number of times I have blatantly acted the opposite of how I expect my students to act.

So what do I do? I embrace the next 21 days. I let my students see that I love them and care for them by NOT letting up. I push through until the zero hour, when we all part ways for summer break, only then REALLY understanding that next year is not the same. I spend the next 21 days absorbing everything that my students are teaching me. I am so thankful and praise God for the opportunities I have had here in Ogallala to grow as a teacher, husband, Christian, and friend. I pray that God will always keep Ogallala and my students near to my heart, and help to to always keep in practice all I have learned while here. Lastly, I pray that God will do the same for my students. It has been a great 4 years, and I will be the same for the next 21 days with my students...focused on imparting as much knowledge as possible into them until the next time, although there will be no next time! Thank you to my students for the wonderful 4 years!

Ruts...

So I really fall into the habit of ruts...whether it be reading my bible, working out, or listening to music. Some may call it routine, but if it is not beneficial for you then I feel it is a rut. The last few weeks my students have really been introducing me to some new music through Spotify. Each day while we do a quick round of stretches in class, I will play some music to kind of set the mood and give the kids some culture. Sometimes it will be classical, sometimes choral, sometimes pop, sometimes punk, and so on and so forth. Well yesterday one of my seniors asked me if I had heard the guitar version of Africa by "Toto". He then continued to pull it up on youtube to show me.

To be completely honest, I wasn't really amazed at it, but I only watched about 15 seconds before clicking on another video of the same guy. As I watched what he was doing with his guitar and how natural it seemed, I thought about the amount of time and dedication that it would have taken to get to where he was. Below is the 2nd video I watched of Andy Mckee. I hope you enjoy, and feel free to send me music suggestions ANYTIME!

Thinking...

The last few days I decided I would pick up a new book, one that I could read for pleasure and also for growth.  As most of you know, I am not a reader. I have a very small attention span, and reading seems to be a great cure for insomnia. This, along with the fact that I am married to a habitual reader, has led me to strive to grow my reading repertoire. The past year or so I have really pushed to read books for pleasure. I read through the Hunger Games trilogy, "I Am Number Four" and "The Power of Six" for example. These books don't challenge me, but provide me some entertainment and relaxation. Now I feel like it is time for a change of pace, a book that will challenge me career-wise and personally.

I have bought numerous books in the past few years, and most have them have sat on my bookcase since. Last week I picked up a John Maxwell book titled "How Successful People Think." In the blog posts that follow, I will try to reply to my thoughts on the book, how I am implementing what I learn into my life, etc.

But before jumping in, this book quickly reminds me of how much thinking one can do to grow. I enjoy learning, and enjoy challenging myself. This book is going to encourage me to think and brainstorm with my career. A couple quotes to leave that jumped out at me from the Introduction:

"Good ideas rarely go out and find someone. If you want to find a good idea, you must search for it."

"People I seek out and choose to spend time with all challenge me with their thinking and their actions. They are constantly trying to grow and learn."

"Any idea that remains only an idea doesn't make a great impact. The real power of an idea comes when it goes from abstraction to application."

Appreciate today...

I know, it sounds like a dorky, inspirational saying you would see on a greeting card with a soaring eagle or a sun set behind a mountaintop. Rather this was a thought that came out of a discussion I had with one of my choirs today. The past week or so, I have had a weird feeling with one of my groups, and have not been able to put my finger on it. We seemed lethargic, and were greatly lacking in drive and focus. After another failed attempt to give directions while talking over a mass majority of the group, I felt like it was time to have one of those "come-to-Jesus" moments.

So we stopped and I vented for a few minutes. I explained to the students what I was observing, and how I felt some people were checked out and struggling to finish the year. I told them I could continue to rack my brain to find a solution, or simply let them finish as strong as they wanted. After much discussion of how we could prevent these phenomena of checking out, I had a few students explain why they AREN'T checked out. One response surprised me, and it came from a senior. He isn't checking out because now he realizes that he only has 16 days to make music with this group. After that final concert, the group for all intents & purposes will NEVER exist again.

I think this was the response that the entire group needed to learn, as well as myself. We take so much of what we do for granted that we forget to appreciate it.  I only get to work with my students for some 20+ days and I will NEVER work with any of them again! Heck, I may not even get to do what I'm doing again next year, depending on whether I find a job. Thanks to Alex, I have a better perspective on what I should focus on in the next few weeks...and I better make it a point to let those who are important in my life right now know it!

Breaking the 561 day silence...

pardon the dorky picture, Danielle thought it would be funny!

I know...impressive. For those who know me, you are amazed at the fact that I was silent for 561 days. Technically, I went 561 day without sharing any thoughts in writing. More importantly, those who know me that THAT is not that surprising. So why break the silence?

There are a couple reasons I've decided to take another stab at this blogging thing:
1) I have some students who would like to stay up-to-date with my experiences when I leave Ogallala
2) I don't like to start something and not continue it. I feel like I have let myself down by NOT continuing with my blog.
3) Although I typically don't have anything important to say, I think it is important for me to put my thoughts on "paper" because I have a HORRIBLE memory.
4) I am motivated with the dedication Danielle has to blogging, and have seen first hand how helpful blogging can be to better break apart situations!

So small confession about number 1 above...I actually have ONE student who wants to keep in touch. Now Micah will learn that I blog more about what I read and what I think about aspects of my career, and less about my life. Danielle does a great job of keeping people informed with things going on in our life. I know Micah will appreciate my in depth response to my reading, as he has blogged about his desire to read more in depth into literature.

So welcome back. Enjoy the ride. Take some time and humor me by responding to posts. Share stories that connect with posts. Encourage me and force me to continue blogging. If you notice I have gone dormant, bug me until I post again. I hope that this will be a great way for me to journal my journey as Danielle and I move from this stage of our life to our new adventure of moving to Omaha!