Today I had the opportunity to drive 8 OHS students to Kearney to attend a Writing Festival that my wife organized through the Nebraska Writing Project. After the festival was over, I was completely impressed.
The whole goal of the festival was to embrace and encourage students to write. They started the festival with a writing marathon, where the participants would break up into groups and go write individually. After writing a bit, the groups each met back up and shared some writing. After the marathon, the students attended a handful of different workshops, ranging from blogging to anatomy writing. At the very end of the festival all of the participants gathered back together for an "open mic" opportunity, where they could share writings from the day or previous materials they may have on hand.
I wasn't around for most of the festival, but I did get to sit in on the read around. This was great. It was amazing to see high school students share. These students shared a wide range of writings, from poetry to fictional stories. It was great to see these high school students vulnerable around others that they didn't even know. It was really amazing hearing students from OHS read some of their materials, and I even had the opportunity to hear some writing from Ava Leininger (she was a student who moved to Aurora this year). What really topped it off was that one of my current students wrote a piece about me. If I get a chance to get a copy of it and I get her permission, I will post the piece on here.
What Kelly wrote was heartfelt and hit right to my core. It helped to provide closure from the concert last night, and it was extremely genuine. I hope that Kelly will share this with me simply so I can keep it, and pull it out during those ROUGH teaching days!
So why the title of the blog? Because regardless of my abilities and frequency, I came to the acceptance today that I Am a Writer. The leaders today really drove home the fact that to be a writer, you simply have to state that you are a writer. What I say may not be earth shattering or world moving, but it is my ideas, thoughts, ramblings...and that is why I can safely say...I AM A WRITER!
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
Emotional outpouring: HS Choir
There is SOOOO much going on in my head right now that I am not sure how this blog is going to come out, but now is the best time to do it!
Well it is 10:30 on a Friday night, and I just got home from our high school choir concert. Normally, this would be the time I would change, clean up, veg out with my wife. BUT, this time is different. This time, I came home after a wonderful concert, knowing I will NEVER have the opportunity to conduct these students again.
After 4 short years, it is amazing how much of an impact students can have in your life. Tonight helped me to realize that. It was emotional. Tonight was tough. There were moments where I felt like a father proud of their child for accomplishing the most amazing of feats. There were also times where I would look right into my the eyes of my students, and simply wonder what else I could have done for them. When the mass choir was singing, I had to fight every ounce not to break down and cry like a little baby. They weren't going to be tears of sadness, or tears of joy...I think they were tears of confusion. Tonight is one of those nights I go home and just sit, with an empty feeling in my gut...not sure what I'm suppose to put there.
Tonight, I came to understand that what I do, and what few people misunderstand, is a true blessing. I GET TO get up every day and work with kids. I GET TO sponsor dances, organize fundraisers, and attend countless student activities. I GET TO grow and learn every day, when others think that I am suppose to be growing and teaching youth. I spent two entire songs tonight at the concert just performing. I was conducting and the choir was singing. After the second song, I came back to reality and quickly remembered there was an audience. It was surreal, and I had never had that experience before. Think about it...I didn't WORRY about the audience. I didn't WORRY about the sound. I connected with my ensemble and the literature and we were doing one of the most natural things known to man...we were making music. We were sharing a story. We were healing somebody. We were lifting somebody's spirit.
Tonight I realized how much some students rely on me. I also realized how much kids AREN'T taught that they are capable, that they are worth something. On many occasions I have had kids tell me that things are going to fall apart next year, and I just remind them that THEY make the choir. Others will say that things will be different next year. Well duh, things are different each year!
Tonight I realized that I can make a difference, and each of my students can as well. Right before concert choir sang, I reminded the of one truth. I simply said, "If we are going to do this, why not be great." It sounds so simple, yet we often times don't think of life that way.
Well, after the night was over, I can safely say that they WERE great. Did we sing our best...I don't know. Did everybody appreciate the music choice...I don't know. What I do know is that when those students were on stage, they were themselves. They were vulnerable and honest. I could SEE the truth of how they felt...I could FEEL it in their performance. Music is an amazing tool and gift that too few people TRULY understand. The OHS Choirs were GREAT tonight because they figured that since they were already there they might as well be. I am SOOO proud of what those kids do that I can't even put it into words. I choke up simply thinking about it. Strike that, I start to weep thinking about how amazing they are. My prayer is that the students of OHS find a love of singing in the art, not in their teacher! My prayer is that I have equipped them to succeed without me. It is okay to hold on to memories, but it is important to keep focus on what is important...We end each of our concerts the same way, by singing "The Lord Bless You." My prayer is that this tradition can continue, so that the identity of OHS Choirs can continue to grow. So to my students, I simply want to say...
Well it is 10:30 on a Friday night, and I just got home from our high school choir concert. Normally, this would be the time I would change, clean up, veg out with my wife. BUT, this time is different. This time, I came home after a wonderful concert, knowing I will NEVER have the opportunity to conduct these students again.
After 4 short years, it is amazing how much of an impact students can have in your life. Tonight helped me to realize that. It was emotional. Tonight was tough. There were moments where I felt like a father proud of their child for accomplishing the most amazing of feats. There were also times where I would look right into my the eyes of my students, and simply wonder what else I could have done for them. When the mass choir was singing, I had to fight every ounce not to break down and cry like a little baby. They weren't going to be tears of sadness, or tears of joy...I think they were tears of confusion. Tonight is one of those nights I go home and just sit, with an empty feeling in my gut...not sure what I'm suppose to put there.
Tonight, I came to understand that what I do, and what few people misunderstand, is a true blessing. I GET TO get up every day and work with kids. I GET TO sponsor dances, organize fundraisers, and attend countless student activities. I GET TO grow and learn every day, when others think that I am suppose to be growing and teaching youth. I spent two entire songs tonight at the concert just performing. I was conducting and the choir was singing. After the second song, I came back to reality and quickly remembered there was an audience. It was surreal, and I had never had that experience before. Think about it...I didn't WORRY about the audience. I didn't WORRY about the sound. I connected with my ensemble and the literature and we were doing one of the most natural things known to man...we were making music. We were sharing a story. We were healing somebody. We were lifting somebody's spirit.
Tonight I realized how much some students rely on me. I also realized how much kids AREN'T taught that they are capable, that they are worth something. On many occasions I have had kids tell me that things are going to fall apart next year, and I just remind them that THEY make the choir. Others will say that things will be different next year. Well duh, things are different each year!
Tonight I realized that I can make a difference, and each of my students can as well. Right before concert choir sang, I reminded the of one truth. I simply said, "If we are going to do this, why not be great." It sounds so simple, yet we often times don't think of life that way.
Well, after the night was over, I can safely say that they WERE great. Did we sing our best...I don't know. Did everybody appreciate the music choice...I don't know. What I do know is that when those students were on stage, they were themselves. They were vulnerable and honest. I could SEE the truth of how they felt...I could FEEL it in their performance. Music is an amazing tool and gift that too few people TRULY understand. The OHS Choirs were GREAT tonight because they figured that since they were already there they might as well be. I am SOOO proud of what those kids do that I can't even put it into words. I choke up simply thinking about it. Strike that, I start to weep thinking about how amazing they are. My prayer is that the students of OHS find a love of singing in the art, not in their teacher! My prayer is that I have equipped them to succeed without me. It is okay to hold on to memories, but it is important to keep focus on what is important...We end each of our concerts the same way, by singing "The Lord Bless You." My prayer is that this tradition can continue, so that the identity of OHS Choirs can continue to grow. So to my students, I simply want to say...
"Let music never die in me; forever let my spirit sing! Wherever emptiness is found let there be joy and glorious sound. Let music never die in me; forever let my spirit sing! Let all our voices join as one to praise the giver of the sun! Awake, awake! Let music live!"
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Ordinary Extraordinaire
There are those people in your life who just seem to never slow down. They are passionate about everything they involve themselves with and just watching them can be tiring. I know this blog is long over due, but today I was reminded that I haven't done a great job of recognizing these people who I have the pleasure of being surrounded by.
As most of you know, I am married to one of those people. Danielle is a natural go getter. I only think she was built with two speeds...fast and faster. Frankly, it is sickening at the amount she does and what she can fit into a 24 hour day. Now this is coming from somebody who prefers to workout at the gym so he can watch Netflix. So as Danielle and I prepare for the next stage of our lives by moving to Omaha, I wanted to reflect on what imprint Danielle has left on me the past few years, and I'm sure on many more in her path. Since I am NOT a writing expert, I will just list the things I know Danielle has accomplished. Since moving to Ogallala, Danielle has...
1) graduated from UNK with her Bachelor's degree
2) become SUPER involved with the NeWP, to the point where she has already been serving on the advisory board.
3) successfully organized a writing festival through NeWP, with two sites (Elkhorn & Kearney)
4) presented at NUMEROUS state and national conferences through the NeWP and NETA
5) completed here coursework and wrote her thesis for her Masters degree, which she will acquire this summer.
6) wrote a curriculum at OHS that focuses on Social Action, and has grown a WONDERFUL unit where the students of OHS go out and MAKE A DIFFERENCE in their community.
7) been selected to receive an award through the NeWP, where she will be recognized at state wide and national based conferences. Being the bad husband I am, I don't even know what the award is called.
8) fulfilled her life-long dream of being in a bluegrass band, the Skunkrunners. Okay, I'm not sure if this is a dream but Danielle has grown to LOVE bluegrass!
9) ran 3 successful half marathons and will be running the FULL marathon in Lincoln on May 5th.
10) been an assistant cross country coach for two years
11) was published in the book "What Teaching Means"
10) continually put her husband before her by supporting all of his concerts and out of school activities.
I think that forcing myself to sit down and really reflect on what has happened the past 4 years has exponentially increased my understanding of what Danielle has been doing. What I love MOST about my wife is that through EVERYTHING she does, she wants to put all of her focus on here relationship with Christ. She is such an inspirational woman that I have been blessed to be married to. I know that I am often times forgetful and selfish, and this is just a small token to show how much I truly realize Danielle does.
Looking back on the past four years, it is amazing to see what Danielle has accomplished and been involved in. That being said, Omaha better watch out! I praise God for Danielle's energy in the classroom, in our marriage, and in our friendships with others.
As most of you know, I am married to one of those people. Danielle is a natural go getter. I only think she was built with two speeds...fast and faster. Frankly, it is sickening at the amount she does and what she can fit into a 24 hour day. Now this is coming from somebody who prefers to workout at the gym so he can watch Netflix. So as Danielle and I prepare for the next stage of our lives by moving to Omaha, I wanted to reflect on what imprint Danielle has left on me the past few years, and I'm sure on many more in her path. Since I am NOT a writing expert, I will just list the things I know Danielle has accomplished. Since moving to Ogallala, Danielle has...
1) graduated from UNK with her Bachelor's degree
2) become SUPER involved with the NeWP, to the point where she has already been serving on the advisory board.
3) successfully organized a writing festival through NeWP, with two sites (Elkhorn & Kearney)
4) presented at NUMEROUS state and national conferences through the NeWP and NETA
5) completed here coursework and wrote her thesis for her Masters degree, which she will acquire this summer.
6) wrote a curriculum at OHS that focuses on Social Action, and has grown a WONDERFUL unit where the students of OHS go out and MAKE A DIFFERENCE in their community.
7) been selected to receive an award through the NeWP, where she will be recognized at state wide and national based conferences. Being the bad husband I am, I don't even know what the award is called.
8) fulfilled her life-long dream of being in a bluegrass band, the Skunkrunners. Okay, I'm not sure if this is a dream but Danielle has grown to LOVE bluegrass!
9) ran 3 successful half marathons and will be running the FULL marathon in Lincoln on May 5th.
10) been an assistant cross country coach for two years
11) was published in the book "What Teaching Means"
10) continually put her husband before her by supporting all of his concerts and out of school activities.
I think that forcing myself to sit down and really reflect on what has happened the past 4 years has exponentially increased my understanding of what Danielle has been doing. What I love MOST about my wife is that through EVERYTHING she does, she wants to put all of her focus on here relationship with Christ. She is such an inspirational woman that I have been blessed to be married to. I know that I am often times forgetful and selfish, and this is just a small token to show how much I truly realize Danielle does.
Looking back on the past four years, it is amazing to see what Danielle has accomplished and been involved in. That being said, Omaha better watch out! I praise God for Danielle's energy in the classroom, in our marriage, and in our friendships with others.
Making a Difference
As I sit here and wind down before going to bed, it suddenly dawns on me that I have 21 more days as the director of choirs at Ogallala Public Schools. For the seniors, we only have 11 days left before we part ways. The past few weeks I have really been reflecting on our time that we have spent in Ogallala. It seems like a short 4 years ago we were packing up our few items in Kearney and moving out West, ready to take on "rural" Nebraska. Now I lay here, watching the days quickly pass before our time here dwindles.
As most of you know, I take a lot of pride and put a lot of stock into my job. I really don't know why that is. I would be the first to admit that musically, I am nothing but average. Educationally, I am not outstanding and creative in what I do. I'm not saying I am a lousy teacher, but my classroom is not that unique and earth shattering. Regardless, I take pride in what I do and want to make a difference in my job. I'm not at all like my wife in the fact that she attacks "big" issues, like social action and the entire SAT program. It seems like my one and only focus is my students.
I am concerned with whether I have taught them what is TRULY important. Yes, it is important for them to be able to sing properly, to understanding correct vowel modification, how to adjust the tuning of a difficult interval, what a picardy third is, etc. Have they left my room understanding the importance of integrity. Do they understand that popularity isn't important. Have I taught them that your actions are a clear indication of who you truly are. I lay here in bed running questions upon questions that I am afraid I haven't clearly educated my students on. I lay here in frustration at the number of times I have blatantly acted the opposite of how I expect my students to act.
So what do I do? I embrace the next 21 days. I let my students see that I love them and care for them by NOT letting up. I push through until the zero hour, when we all part ways for summer break, only then REALLY understanding that next year is not the same. I spend the next 21 days absorbing everything that my students are teaching me. I am so thankful and praise God for the opportunities I have had here in Ogallala to grow as a teacher, husband, Christian, and friend. I pray that God will always keep Ogallala and my students near to my heart, and help to to always keep in practice all I have learned while here. Lastly, I pray that God will do the same for my students. It has been a great 4 years, and I will be the same for the next 21 days with my students...focused on imparting as much knowledge as possible into them until the next time, although there will be no next time! Thank you to my students for the wonderful 4 years!
As most of you know, I take a lot of pride and put a lot of stock into my job. I really don't know why that is. I would be the first to admit that musically, I am nothing but average. Educationally, I am not outstanding and creative in what I do. I'm not saying I am a lousy teacher, but my classroom is not that unique and earth shattering. Regardless, I take pride in what I do and want to make a difference in my job. I'm not at all like my wife in the fact that she attacks "big" issues, like social action and the entire SAT program. It seems like my one and only focus is my students.
I am concerned with whether I have taught them what is TRULY important. Yes, it is important for them to be able to sing properly, to understanding correct vowel modification, how to adjust the tuning of a difficult interval, what a picardy third is, etc. Have they left my room understanding the importance of integrity. Do they understand that popularity isn't important. Have I taught them that your actions are a clear indication of who you truly are. I lay here in bed running questions upon questions that I am afraid I haven't clearly educated my students on. I lay here in frustration at the number of times I have blatantly acted the opposite of how I expect my students to act.
So what do I do? I embrace the next 21 days. I let my students see that I love them and care for them by NOT letting up. I push through until the zero hour, when we all part ways for summer break, only then REALLY understanding that next year is not the same. I spend the next 21 days absorbing everything that my students are teaching me. I am so thankful and praise God for the opportunities I have had here in Ogallala to grow as a teacher, husband, Christian, and friend. I pray that God will always keep Ogallala and my students near to my heart, and help to to always keep in practice all I have learned while here. Lastly, I pray that God will do the same for my students. It has been a great 4 years, and I will be the same for the next 21 days with my students...focused on imparting as much knowledge as possible into them until the next time, although there will be no next time! Thank you to my students for the wonderful 4 years!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Ruts...
So I really fall into the habit of ruts...whether it be reading my bible, working out, or listening to music. Some may call it routine, but if it is not beneficial for you then I feel it is a rut. The last few weeks my students have really been introducing me to some new music through Spotify. Each day while we do a quick round of stretches in class, I will play some music to kind of set the mood and give the kids some culture. Sometimes it will be classical, sometimes choral, sometimes pop, sometimes punk, and so on and so forth. Well yesterday one of my seniors asked me if I had heard the guitar version of Africa by "Toto". He then continued to pull it up on youtube to show me.
To be completely honest, I wasn't really amazed at it, but I only watched about 15 seconds before clicking on another video of the same guy. As I watched what he was doing with his guitar and how natural it seemed, I thought about the amount of time and dedication that it would have taken to get to where he was. Below is the 2nd video I watched of Andy Mckee. I hope you enjoy, and feel free to send me music suggestions ANYTIME!
To be completely honest, I wasn't really amazed at it, but I only watched about 15 seconds before clicking on another video of the same guy. As I watched what he was doing with his guitar and how natural it seemed, I thought about the amount of time and dedication that it would have taken to get to where he was. Below is the 2nd video I watched of Andy Mckee. I hope you enjoy, and feel free to send me music suggestions ANYTIME!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Thinking...
The last few days I decided I would pick up a new book, one that I could read for pleasure and also for growth. As most of you know, I am not a reader. I have a very small attention span, and reading seems to be a great cure for insomnia. This, along with the fact that I am married to a habitual reader, has led me to strive to grow my reading repertoire. The past year or so I have really pushed to read books for pleasure. I read through the Hunger Games trilogy, "I Am Number Four" and "The Power of Six" for example. These books don't challenge me, but provide me some entertainment and relaxation. Now I feel like it is time for a change of pace, a book that will challenge me career-wise and personally.
I have bought numerous books in the past few years, and most have them have sat on my bookcase since. Last week I picked up a John Maxwell book titled "How Successful People Think." In the blog posts that follow, I will try to reply to my thoughts on the book, how I am implementing what I learn into my life, etc.
But before jumping in, this book quickly reminds me of how much thinking one can do to grow. I enjoy learning, and enjoy challenging myself. This book is going to encourage me to think and brainstorm with my career. A couple quotes to leave that jumped out at me from the Introduction:
I have bought numerous books in the past few years, and most have them have sat on my bookcase since. Last week I picked up a John Maxwell book titled "How Successful People Think." In the blog posts that follow, I will try to reply to my thoughts on the book, how I am implementing what I learn into my life, etc.
But before jumping in, this book quickly reminds me of how much thinking one can do to grow. I enjoy learning, and enjoy challenging myself. This book is going to encourage me to think and brainstorm with my career. A couple quotes to leave that jumped out at me from the Introduction:
"Good ideas rarely go out and find someone. If you want to find a good idea, you must search for it."
"People I seek out and choose to spend time with all challenge me with their thinking and their actions. They are constantly trying to grow and learn."
"Any idea that remains only an idea doesn't make a great impact. The real power of an idea comes when it goes from abstraction to application."
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Appreciate today...
I know, it sounds like a dorky, inspirational saying you would see on a greeting card with a soaring eagle or a sun set behind a mountaintop. Rather this was a thought that came out of a discussion I had with one of my choirs today. The past week or so, I have had a weird feeling with one of my groups, and have not been able to put my finger on it. We seemed lethargic, and were greatly lacking in drive and focus. After another failed attempt to give directions while talking over a mass majority of the group, I felt like it was time to have one of those "come-to-Jesus" moments.
So we stopped and I vented for a few minutes. I explained to the students what I was observing, and how I felt some people were checked out and struggling to finish the year. I told them I could continue to rack my brain to find a solution, or simply let them finish as strong as they wanted. After much discussion of how we could prevent these phenomena of checking out, I had a few students explain why they AREN'T checked out. One response surprised me, and it came from a senior. He isn't checking out because now he realizes that he only has 16 days to make music with this group. After that final concert, the group for all intents & purposes will NEVER exist again.
I think this was the response that the entire group needed to learn, as well as myself. We take so much of what we do for granted that we forget to appreciate it. I only get to work with my students for some 20+ days and I will NEVER work with any of them again! Heck, I may not even get to do what I'm doing again next year, depending on whether I find a job. Thanks to Alex, I have a better perspective on what I should focus on in the next few weeks...and I better make it a point to let those who are important in my life right now know it!
So we stopped and I vented for a few minutes. I explained to the students what I was observing, and how I felt some people were checked out and struggling to finish the year. I told them I could continue to rack my brain to find a solution, or simply let them finish as strong as they wanted. After much discussion of how we could prevent these phenomena of checking out, I had a few students explain why they AREN'T checked out. One response surprised me, and it came from a senior. He isn't checking out because now he realizes that he only has 16 days to make music with this group. After that final concert, the group for all intents & purposes will NEVER exist again.
I think this was the response that the entire group needed to learn, as well as myself. We take so much of what we do for granted that we forget to appreciate it. I only get to work with my students for some 20+ days and I will NEVER work with any of them again! Heck, I may not even get to do what I'm doing again next year, depending on whether I find a job. Thanks to Alex, I have a better perspective on what I should focus on in the next few weeks...and I better make it a point to let those who are important in my life right now know it!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Breaking the 561 day silence...
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| pardon the dorky picture, Danielle thought it would be funny! |
I know...impressive. For those who know me, you are amazed at the fact that I was silent for 561 days. Technically, I went 561 day without sharing any thoughts in writing. More importantly, those who know me that THAT is not that surprising. So why break the silence?
There are a couple reasons I've decided to take another stab at this blogging thing:
1) I have some students who would like to stay up-to-date with my experiences when I leave Ogallala
2) I don't like to start something and not continue it. I feel like I have let myself down by NOT continuing with my blog.
3) Although I typically don't have anything important to say, I think it is important for me to put my thoughts on "paper" because I have a HORRIBLE memory.
4) I am motivated with the dedication Danielle has to blogging, and have seen first hand how helpful blogging can be to better break apart situations!
So small confession about number 1 above...I actually have ONE student who wants to keep in touch. Now Micah will learn that I blog more about what I read and what I think about aspects of my career, and less about my life. Danielle does a great job of keeping people informed with things going on in our life. I know Micah will appreciate my in depth response to my reading, as he has blogged about his desire to read more in depth into literature.
So welcome back. Enjoy the ride. Take some time and humor me by responding to posts. Share stories that connect with posts. Encourage me and force me to continue blogging. If you notice I have gone dormant, bug me until I post again. I hope that this will be a great way for me to journal my journey as Danielle and I move from this stage of our life to our new adventure of moving to Omaha!
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