Emotional outpouring: HS Choir

There is SOOOO much going on in my head right now that I am not sure how this blog is going to come out, but now is the best time to do it!

Well it is 10:30 on a Friday night, and I just got home from our high school choir concert. Normally, this would be the time I would change, clean up, veg out with my wife. BUT, this time is different. This time, I came home after a wonderful concert, knowing I will NEVER have the opportunity to conduct these students again.

After 4 short years, it is amazing how much of an impact students can have in your life. Tonight helped me to realize that. It was emotional. Tonight was tough. There were moments where I felt like a father proud of their child for accomplishing the most amazing of feats. There were also times where I would look right into my the eyes of my students, and simply wonder what else I could have done for them. When the mass choir was singing, I had to fight every ounce not to break down and cry like a little baby. They weren't going to be tears of sadness, or tears of joy...I think they were tears of confusion. Tonight is one of those nights I go home and just sit, with an empty feeling in my gut...not sure what I'm suppose to put there.

Tonight, I came to understand that what I do, and what few people misunderstand, is a true blessing. I GET TO get up every day and work with kids. I GET TO sponsor dances, organize fundraisers, and attend countless student activities. I GET TO grow and learn every day, when others think that I am suppose to be growing and teaching youth. I spent two entire songs tonight at the concert just performing. I was conducting and the choir was singing. After the second song, I came back to reality and quickly remembered there was an audience. It was surreal, and I had never had that experience before. Think about it...I didn't WORRY about the audience. I didn't WORRY about the sound. I connected with my ensemble and the literature and we were doing one of the most natural things known to man...we were making music. We were sharing a story. We were healing somebody. We were lifting somebody's spirit.

Tonight I realized how much some students rely on me. I also realized how much kids AREN'T taught that they are capable, that they are worth something. On many occasions I have had kids tell me that things are going to fall apart next year, and I just remind them that THEY make the choir. Others will say that things will be different next year. Well duh, things are different each year!


Tonight I realized that I can make a difference, and each of my students can as well. Right before concert choir sang, I reminded the of one truth. I simply said, "If we are going to do this, why not be great." It sounds so simple, yet we often times don't think of life that way. 

Well, after the night was over, I can safely say that they WERE great. Did we sing our best...I don't know. Did everybody appreciate the music choice...I don't know. What I do know is that when those students were on stage, they were themselves. They were vulnerable and honest. I could SEE the truth of how they felt...I could FEEL it in their performance. Music is an amazing tool and gift that too few people TRULY understand.  The OHS Choirs were GREAT tonight because they figured that since they were already there they might as well be. I am SOOO proud of what those kids do that I can't even put it into words. I choke up simply thinking about it.  Strike that, I start to weep thinking about how amazing they are. My prayer is that the students of OHS find a love of singing in the art, not in their teacher! My prayer is that I have equipped them to succeed without me. It is okay to hold on to memories, but it is important to keep focus on what is important...We end each of our concerts the same way, by singing "The Lord Bless You." My prayer is that this tradition can continue, so that the identity of OHS Choirs can continue to grow.  So to my students, I simply want to say...

"Let music never die in me; forever let my spirit sing! Wherever emptiness is found let there be joy and glorious sound. Let music never die in me; forever let my spirit sing! Let all our voices join as one to praise the giver of the sun! Awake, awake! Let music live!"

Ordinary Extraordinaire

There are those people in your life who just seem to never slow down. They are passionate about everything they involve themselves with and just watching them can be tiring. I know this blog is long over due, but today I was reminded that I haven't done a great job of recognizing these people who I have the pleasure of being surrounded by.

As most of you know, I am married to one of those people. Danielle is a natural go getter. I only think she was built with two speeds...fast and faster. Frankly, it is sickening at the amount she does and what she can fit into a 24 hour day. Now this is coming from somebody who prefers to workout at the gym so he can watch Netflix. So as Danielle and I prepare for the next stage of our lives by moving to Omaha, I wanted to reflect on what imprint Danielle has left on me the past few years, and I'm sure on many more in her path. Since I am NOT a writing expert, I will just list the things I know Danielle has accomplished. Since moving to Ogallala, Danielle has...

1) graduated from UNK with her Bachelor's degree
2) become SUPER involved with the NeWP, to the point where she has already been serving on the advisory board.
3) successfully organized a writing festival through NeWP, with two sites (Elkhorn & Kearney)
4) presented at NUMEROUS state and national conferences through the NeWP and NETA
5) completed here coursework and wrote her thesis for her Masters degree, which she will acquire this summer.
6) wrote a curriculum at OHS that focuses on Social Action, and has grown a WONDERFUL unit where the students of OHS go out and MAKE A DIFFERENCE in their community.
7) been selected to receive an award through the NeWP, where she will be recognized at state wide and national based conferences. Being the bad husband I am, I don't even know what the award is called.
8) fulfilled her life-long dream of being in a bluegrass band, the Skunkrunners. Okay, I'm not sure if this is a dream but Danielle has grown to LOVE bluegrass!
9) ran 3 successful half marathons and will be running the FULL marathon in Lincoln on May 5th.
10) been an assistant cross country coach for two years
11) was published in the book "What Teaching Means"
10) continually put her husband before her by supporting all of his concerts and out of school activities.

I think that forcing myself to sit down and really reflect on what has happened the past 4 years has exponentially increased my understanding of what Danielle has been doing.  What I love MOST about my wife is that through EVERYTHING she does, she wants to put all of her focus on here relationship with Christ. She is such an inspirational woman that I have been blessed to be married to. I know that I am often times forgetful and selfish, and this is just a small token to show how much I truly realize Danielle does.

Looking back on the past four years, it is amazing to see what Danielle has accomplished and been involved in. That being said, Omaha better watch out! I praise God for Danielle's energy in the classroom, in our marriage, and in our friendships with others.